We are as we came into this world—whole and perfect. Our many dysfunctional relationships weren’t intended to show us otherwise, in fact it is the opposite. They’re designed so that we could see it and believe it for ourselves.

In a world that operated in separation by using polar concepts such as right/wrong; good/bad; virtue/vice, we were always going to be confronted by the notion that we were not good enough. The only way to correct this understanding is to come into a new one, the only true one, which is that we were always good enough. 

As a result, our relationships, in some way, will always mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves—especially when we are locked in our karma. Instead of looking at our relationships to validate us and mask our fears, it’s time to see what we can learn from them. 

When we can all be honest about our relationships, we can begin to get honest about ourselves. This isn’t easy. 

Often we use our relationships to boost us: to tell us that we’re doing well, that we’re attractive and desirable. And when our relationships begin to disappoint us, it doesn’t feel good to wonder why (either we take the blame or blame the other person for not seeing our greatness).

That internal struggle we’re experiencing is our karmic issue playing out and we need to pay attention. It’s not about the external circumstances ever. Who hurt whom, or who did what doesn’t matter. Rather, it’s the feelings inside that are our directive. 

The sooner we can be honest about those feelings and pinpoint the fears we carry, the sooner we can begin to move through the issue.