I do not have the strength to exist. 

When we do not believe that we can find the will to exist on our own, the source of our life becomes our obsession. We literally cannot help but be dependent on something because we cannot live without it. The pain of life is too great, the struggle of being alive in this world was too much to bear, so we needed someone or something to numb us or take the edge off.

But whenever anything becomes an obsession, it twists our intention, warps our sense of reality and distorts our self-perception. So we fall down the rabbit hole into despair and we’d rather die than live without it. 

While we may seem weak and brittle on the outside, those of us who have chosen this theme are some of the strongest souls. Burning out I Am Not Good Enough is a truly great challenge. It takes addiction and turns it upside down, forcing the world to acknowledge that how we have been living has made us all suffer as a result. 

It is all an illusion. We are merely looking at a distorted reflection of our brokenness and codependence. If we were to see the wholeness that resides beyond the addiction, we would understand that the object of our desire matters less than the person we truly know ourselves to be, but have forgotten.

Our power is realized in the courage that comes from facing that object and understanding that we never needed it in the first place, we only believed we did.